Unlucky in Love
The Cure's "Disintegration" (1989)
Defining lyrics: "If only I thought of the right words/I could have held on to your heart/If only I thought of the right words/I wouldn't be breaking apart/My pictures of you" from the song "Pictures of You"
Chaser: Your blankie ... but not
"Disintegration" cannot be played during the daytime. For years, I've used it to help me sleep. It is like a warm, gooey, gloomy cocoon. When depressed, I've clutched it and held it incredibly tight, like a life preserver. I can't write about it objectively; it is simply one of the five greatest records of my life.
The backstory finds leader Robert Smith pissed because his band was becoming egocentric based on popularity and wanted to create the ultimate dark Cure album as a response to "Kiss Me, Kiss Me, Kiss Me." He also began taking LSD to cure depression and spark, um, creativity. Meanwhile, a band member was fired for alcoholism, the others became disgruntled and the label was getting worried. Out of this came "Disintegration."
It is an album of brooding layers, both musically and thematically. Musically, each song begins with something simple (say, a chime), then a long, orchestral intro follows, where instrument upon instrument is slipped into the mix (often synth, a keyboard, shimmering guitars, drums that feel like gunfire) until Smith is finally ready to deliver his melancholy sermons on loss, depression, shattered dreams, broken promises, sucker bets, etc. (listen to "Closedown" or "Homesick" or "Pictures of You" for prime examples).
The music is so gorgeous, so moving, so hypnotic that you are overwhelmed, wet-eyed before Smith even gets to the story. And the story is also layered: Each song about regret, love collapsing, nostalgia for something that could have never been as beautiful as he is remembering. But the disintegration here is also of Smith's band. You can read the album as a goodbye from leader to comrades. The Cure would never be this whole or this great or matter more than they did here. But how could they? This is perfect.
Related: Top "I Hate Love" Songs of All Time
O lote de canções que poderia por neste post mas não se pode quantificar a empatia que uma canção pode ter com a nossa própria dor. Agora que acho que esses tempos de solidão estão já lá para trás reconheço que a mesma canção pode ter uma dupla função a de ajudar a lamber as feridas e de exortar as nossa mais pungente revolta.
The Cure -Desintegration
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